A Different State of Mind
by DestroyerZodiac
Summary: What happens when a man who refuses to tell his name looks back o his life? He tells these absolutely useless stories and doesn't even know what his theme is. This is "A Different State of Mind."
1. Prologue

Prologue

Um...Hi...uh...I don't really know how I'm supposed to begin this...book...thing...so I'm just going to begin. My name is...bah! What the hell do you care about my name? You're just hear for the stories of my life, or you're here because you care about me. If that is the reason, I salute you. If not, well I hope a Frost Troll rips your legs off and lets you bleed out nice and slow while he eats them right in front of you. Or you could live in the lap of luxury, your choice.

Oh, haha, that reminds of a funny story actually where I was...uh...agh...what the hell, I haven't even began the actual book...novel...memoir...whatever the fuck this is. I don't want to start telling stories before you even get to know me. Well it's not like you care about that too, but everyone has a different state of mind, a different point of view to put it into words for someone who's reading this crap to understand. Hell! Maybe I'll even write in print just to make you feel like an ass! Bahaha...that would be joyous.

You see what I'm talking about, I'm making fun of the reader of this, why are you still reading this if I've insulted you?!

Oh...so you're still reading...well this is awkward, I might as well just continue with what I'm going to say, or tell. Oh! I just remembered this remarkable story from when I lived in Whiterun. Haha, it's actually quite a long story...maybe I should dedicate a full chapter or part of this... "book" to it. That would give you some laughs...haha, just thinking about it makes me chuckle.

Huh, oh right, I forgot I was righting every single one of my thoughts on the paper...I forgot what to say, eh. I might as well move onto the stories, but first! That one story I was chuckling about earlier is actually where I'm going to begin...


	2. Chapter 1

The Little Tale of a Lad and His Dad

See what I did there? I rhymed the title of the section, haha. I crack myself up, wow...that really shows me how smart I am...Man I'm stupid, but instead of figuring out while I'm so dumb with logic I obviously don't understand, I say with a long tone because I'm being sarcastic. Sigh. Back on topic, this story actually starts, not at my birth, but when I was only a little lad of about 6 or 7 years old. It really isn't about my father, but what happened in Whiterun during those years.

The first thing I remember is coming home to my father every single day to the same goddamn question: "How was school?" And before I completely finish this thought, let me explain what this "school" is. It was basically Farkas, Vilkas, Aela, and Skjor from the Companions teaching "classes" to us about Archery, and Warriorism.

Now back to my complete thought, but as I was saying I came home to that same question everyday. But when he said it, I had lied everyday about it, and at dinner for being a "good lad" for going to "school" he gave me a sip of his Alto Wine, which I just stole from his wine cellar later while he was sleeping,...haha. To be honest, all I did was go to Aela's class because I thought she was cute, and then skip the rest of the day to sneak to DragonReach and study my magicka skills with Farengar.

I often asked Farengar if I could call him "father" but he continued to tell me: "I would love to take the right as your father, but I could not for two reasons. Both of which I will not tell you because you are too young." I will always have those words etched into the back of my mind like the scar on my left cheek.

Bugger! I spoke of that too early, well I'll tell you that story another time because I do not feel like explaining all of the pain and turmoi- ok you know what? I got it stealing from my "dad's" liqour...I dropped a bottle and the glass flew up and hit my face...my excuse to my dad? My hand slipped and I sliced my face with a dagger...hey! At least it's not as embarrassing as dropping a fucking bottle...Ok, maybe it is.

Shut up, that's not what I'm saying, so...shut up. But...bah. Where was I? OH right! I was about to tell you why I was studying magicka.

Well, I study it because I hate warriorism. I'd rather be a hated necromage than a warrior. Just the thought of it disgusts me, plus I've got magicka flowing through me, it's...in my blood. It may sound weird but it's true. I feel that I have more of a potential studying magic. Haha, I remember once my father told me when he found out I cut to go see Farengar, and he said "Why'd you go see Farengar? Wanting to be a nerd like your brother?" Little did he know my brother is one of the most powerful mages in Tamriel.

When he mentioned my brother, it took me back in time to when I last saw him. It was the middle of Frostfall, and I asked him where he was going and all he said was "away." I would do the same but I don't have the balls to walk out like he did. Father would hunt me down and slaughter me if I left. I am serious. He would not hesitate to kill his second born son. If my mother were still with us I could leave but sadly she wasn't. I don't like to talk about what happened to her, but I might warm up to it.

Back on topic now, I learned spells in months that took Farengar years to master. I was "truly gifted" in his eyes, and to my father I was "just another spell nerd." When he told me that I would've just went up to his face and yelled "Fuck you!" at the top of my lungs, but I'd only do that if I had a death wish...which I don't...or so I think.

About two weeks after the first time Aela caught me skipping out, she caught me again. But this time instead of taking me back, she stopped and talked to me. I could see a sense of calmness and faithfulness in her eyes, and this benefited me because I "vaguely" knew what was coming. She kneeled in front of me, so she was my height, and asked me, plain and straight: "What are you doing?" I couldn't lie to her face, I can't lie to someone who is as innocent as her, I don't have the heart for it. I told her "I'm going to train with Farengar, I want to be a mage."

She chuckled. "What do you think Skjor and Vilkas would do to you if they found you?" She asked.

"Yell at me and bring me back to my father who would kill me." I said back to her, little did I know I was staring straight into her beautiful eyes.

"Oh come now, little one, stop joking." she responded. I moved back a small bit, about a foot and she put a hand on my shoulder. Little did she know I wasn't joking. But after that day everything at the school seemed different. Every time I left she made sure Skjor or Vilkas wasn't patrolling so I wouldn't be caught. She also told me to meet her in the mead hall after school. My friends at the time thought I was having an affair with her... I lit there asses on fire. The look on their faces when they ran home with holes in their pants was priceless.

I met her there and she lead me to the Underforge. There is where I saw the first love of my life...an enchanting table. Ha! You probably thought I meant a women, fair maiden, etc. But you didn't expect something like that, yeah I mix it up...sometimes.

Back on track, and all dumb jokes aside I laid my eyes on the enchanting table. She taught me how to use it everyday after school, while my old man thought I was practicing my archery. I'm as good a shot with a bow and arrow than my old man is with the ladies...no where in sight. I would enchant weapons for the Companions but I didn't care that I was doing work without realizing it. I just loved the technique and everything about it. But one night I returned home when my father was asleep and I went to my room. There was a note on my bed stand that I ignored for an hour or two and I just looked at the layout of my room.

Everything was different. Everything seemed to have changed. I then realized what happened. I read the note which read:

(Not putting my name cause I'm no dipshit)-

I had your room completely redone while you were at school. I thought that it would be a nice gesture to do since you've been such a good lad.

-Father

He signed it "Father." He was never a father to me, not once at all since my mother had suffered her fate. He threw out all of my old furniture...with all of my magic stuff. At first I had a poker face on and then realized and yelled, within reason so I didn't wake father up, "Oh shit!" I ran to the gate of the city where the guard told me I should be sleeping or at least inside due to curfew. I told him my predicament and he let me through, I ran to the stables as fast as I could and I saw some Khajiits leaving with my old furniture. I ran up to one of the guards of the caravan and told him.

He returned my statement with "Oh, so that explains why there is stuff inside." He was a nice guy, he told the guy with the huge coin purse about my problem. He came back to me and said I could take all of my stuff back, without price, and handed me a large sack to load the stuff in. I ran home and my dad was waiting...

He was taping his foot and he had a sort of evil smirk on his face. I asked him what was wrong and he said "Nothing." and went back to sleep. Little did I know this would come back to bite me later.

Two years after that incident weren't really packed full of novel worth stories, just some dumb pranks and little moments of love. Nothing too important, but when I was 15, Skjor found out I was cutting. (If you haven't realized the "j's" should sound like "y's" you're dumb.) He told father...which was the worst possible thing he could've done because Oblivion would be unleashed when I got home.

I got home at 9:30 on the 26th of Hearthfire, father was waiting for me with a bottle of mead in hand.

"Skjor told me what you've been doing...two years? Haha. Two god forsaken years!" he was furious, he threw the mead at the wall and continued to yell at me.

"He's also told me what you and Aela have been doing. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. You're a real character aren't you? Faked being a 'warrior' and going to see that madman Farengar to teach you magic. You should be ashamed."

"You should be ashamed! He's more of a father to me than you ever were! And I could do much more with magic than you could ever do with a sword! You drunk fool, you don't realize the power I wield!" I yelled back at him.

"I am your Father! And you will not see that Farengar any longer! You will be a warrior and that is that! If you disobey my orders it will be the death of you! You'll be dead just like your mother." he said in a slow way, to make sure it sunk into my mind.

"Mom was right about you, you're just a drunk, lazy, old loser who doesn't deserve to go to Sovngarde, let alone live on this world! And let me tell you something 'father' I WILL disobey you, you may think your empty threats scare me but they don't! I'll do whatever I want, whether you like it or not!" That was the last straw, I could see his blood red face and his devilish eyebrows like it's right in front of me. My life flashed before my eyes. My tenth birthday with Rortor, my brother, by my side. The day mother died...and plenty others.

He took out his Greatsword and slammed it towards me, from the ceiling to the floor. I stood in shock as it came down at me, it was like slow motion. I had just enough time to react and to move. His sword got stuck in the ground, and with all of his strength he couldn't pull it from the floor. With the crucial time I had, I ran to my room, packed all my things, and grabbed the dagger he had given me when I was 4. I unsheathed it and ran back to where he was. He raised the sword again and before he could gain the moment to bring it down I had slashed his chest and elbow...deeply.

He screamed, at the top of his lungs, most likely waking up most of the city and I ran. I opened the door and ran for my fucking life. I didn't know where to go and just kept running. I heard the guards run for my house and I ran to Farengar's house. I slammed my hands on the door and he asked: "Who could this be at this hour at night?"

"It's...it's...it's..." I couldn't get the words out, and he opened the door. I ran in, he locked the door behind me.

"What's wrong little one? What happened?" he asked quickly. I tried to tell him but I was in so much shock nothing was audible. He told me to have a sip of water and calm down. It was ten minutes before I could actually speak, and I told him what had happened. Out of the kindness of the man's golden heart he let me live there.

He talked to the Jarl at the time and cleared my name, let me live with him, didn't make me go to school, and STILL taught me magicka. I swear to Talos the man was a saint. But really after that, there's nothing really anything important in my life. Except for when I was learning the Fireball spell and nearly blew up the labortory...hehe...

It was all good until I had turned 17 in Morningstar. That's one of the best days of my life because I realized that living in Whiterun I wasn't going to do anything with my life. So I wrote a note to Farengar, left it on his bed and walked out of his house, walked out of the gate and left Whiterun. Forever. I vowed I would never go back, but lately I've been contemplating about going back, but we'll see.

This is sadly where this story ends, but don't worry. It wont be the last, and possibly not the longest. Depends on what stories I want to tell and feel like telling. Well that's your decision to read on and find out.


	3. Chapter 2

How My Mother Died

I've decided to stop being a pussy and tell you how my mother died. I don't really understand why I don't like talking about this, but I think it's because I'm really insecure about what really happened. There's also a question...I don't _completely _remember _exactly _what happened. Hehe...uh...I should've said that first shouldn't I have? Well...I'm going to tell you anyway.

I was 5 years old and we were migrating from Markarth to Whiterun, god who knows why, and I remember the bouncing of the covered wagon on the road. There was also a Khajiit caravan trailing farther behind us, like a convoy sort of. And the moon was slowly rising above the mountains and I was slowly drifting asleep. I heard some talking between my father and a man. I shut my eyes and I felt my mother's hand leave my head and be pulled away. I looked out and saw my dad lying on the ground.

I, instictly, jumped out of the caravan and took my father's sword and ran for my mother. I ran as fast as I fucking could to save her. I ran out of breath at a broken tree and I heard something behind me. I turned in fear as I saw one of the Khajiit behind me.

"Where did they take her?" he said sounding out of breath, like me.

"Into...into that cave over there...what are they doing to my mommy?" I responded. I was 5, you can't blame me for saying something so ignorant and dumb. The Khajiit had nodded and he ran into the darkness of the cave as I followed him.

We reached the end of the cave silently and I...I could see them...violati-...raping her...I froze. I couldn't move and the Khajiit covered my eyes. I looked through his fingers to see the last image of my mother I would ever get...the sight of them slicing her throat open...

Sure they didn't know there was a 5 year old, but it traumatized me. I'm a completely different person because of that moment, but before I explain, back to the story.

I ran out of the cave, hands on my eyes balling them out, and when I turned back the Khajiit jumped down and I heard the silent slaughter of the bandits. I ran back to the wagon and my father was getting up and I ran into his arms, crying, sobbing. He knew not what to ask me what had happened, he could just tell by the way I was crying.

There are many things that came out of that day that helped me in the long run. One of these many things was my treatment of women...I'll tell you later how this helped. Another one of the things is my extreme respect for Khajiit's, people are always wondering why I'm always respectful of the Elsweyr kind. The last and final thing is...my hatred for bandits. I hate them...let me change that. I fucking hate them, and always will. I have vowed to myself to never leave any I see left alive, even if it means risking my life.

And that last point leads me into my next story.


	4. Chapter 3

Catching Up in Present Time

But before I tell you that story, a little update on what's been going on in the more recent time. Basically what's been happenening to me in the past week or two. It's actually been really enjoyable lately. My life...I mean...well, what else would I mean? But in all seriousness it has been quite an adventure here in Winterhold.

Yes, yes, I've been spending most of my time here because it's always quiet and it's nice and isolated...and I love the cold. Doesn't mean I'm a nord, doesn't mean I'm not. From time to time I also visit the College and talk with Savos or Mirabelle about somethings I've been researching as of late. It's been something...rather peculiar actually. It's in the ruins of Saarthal and when I was exploring it, as a mage I felt a massive amount of power. I never found it or found out what it was, but even here in Winterhold I can still feel the power.

Oh, also when I was exploring near Hobbs Fall Cave a Snow Sabre Cat had attacked me. Fuckin idiot got his pelt lit on fire...I had a joke but no one but the Gods were around to hear it...so I just took the tooth as a trophy. It hangs on my wall, along with my dagger which I have never sheathed since that day with my father.

I wonder what's become of him, I haven't seen him or heard of him since I left Whiterun. I wonder what the city is like...it's been so long since I've been there...maybe I'll take a trip back there when I go completely insane. But that's probably already happened. I also wonder what's become of my brother if he's even still alive, which I hope that he is. I don't mind if he's been captured or tortured, just as long as he's alive...then again they would've sent a Courier for me about his death...so he's obviously still alive.

Hmmm...now that I think about it...he said he was going to a dwemer ruin of some sort. I can't pronounce the name for my life but I remember him always reading Dwemer Inquiry books in a language I couldn't even comprehend. Must've been Orcish or Elvish. Even with all of the knowledge I have now that language still doesn't make sense...must've been Dwarven. He might've been captured by those Falmer rat-like things. But it's not important at the moment. But what is important is that I move on with this book and see how far it gets me.

Now I feel like adventuring out to find him to see if he actually _is _alive. Nah, I'm no adventurer. I'm a mage, I study in books and blow stuff up with my hands...oh lord...that sounded extremely perverted and sexual. Well I can't erase so...Sucks for you.


	5. Chapter 4

Love Is In The Air, Along With The Scent of Blood

As you can tell by the title it is ironic how I met my first love, and to be honest, my only love. Sappy love moment aside it is weird how I found love. I want to set up the story first because it is really dumb in my opinion.

It was about 2 or 3 weeks after I had left Whiterun when I had arrived upon...I believe it was Silent Moons Camp, but I'm not entirely sure because I had no map. All I had were the stars above me and the motivation of getting as far away from my father as humanly possible. And I figured out it was Silent Moons Camp because...well...the full moon was directly above it. The surrounding area was very plain and open, I didn't like that. The feeling of being followed and the paranoia was eating at me. So I had to stay there, no matter what. Little to my knowledge did I know there were Bandits there...hehe...didn't turn out too well.

I believe it was a marauder who captured me, or it could've been a 'killer' but I was unsure, I was just going through the thoughts of probably the last moments of my life. For all you know I could be writing this in the after life! Bahaha! That would just make me insane though, but that's your decision. But like I was saying there were many thoughts going through my head. They brought me into a room all the way in the back and threw me towards their leader. I thought she- Yes! I said 'she'- was beautiful when she turned around, but I felt a sense of...evil within here. It felt like she was worshipping something of some sort. It's on the tip of my tongue...Oh! That's right! She was a _daedra worshipper_. I threw out my affection for her when I felt that evilness, or cruelness.

She and her bodyguard had gone through my bag and nothing seemed of interest to them...except for the dagger my father had given me. She turned towards me observing it like something she's never seen before. She put it up to my neck and poked me with it, I mean, don't get me wrong. She only poked me with it but it broke the skin and I had a trickle of blood traveling down my neck. I was smart enough to not put my thumb on it because that's what she was looking for: a weakling. It would give her the _justification _for killing me. She gave me my dagger back, along with my bag, and said, "Go take the room to your liking, I'll send your slave later."

A _slave, _a slave! You have got to be kidding me! A fucking _slave_! Mm hmm. Excuse my temper and language, but I am being completely serious.

I went to my room and set up all of my things, and there she was. My _slave_, tied to the second bed in the room with an execution hood covering her head. I felt...guilt...and an extreme guilt as well, for her. I walked over to the bed and removed the hood from her head, she tried to scream but I covered her mouth with my hand.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to rape you or do anything horrible to you, I promise." I whispered into her ear. I uncovered her mouth.

"How do I know I can trust you?" she whispered back in my ear, and I was speechless for a moment trying to think of a reason.

"Because no other bandit would be talking to you, my dear." She became less tense, and I felt her relax. I untied her from the ends of the bed and introduced myself the way I was taught to introduce myself to a woman. But it turns out, she wasn't even a woman at all. A girl, no more than a few weeks younger than I, at the time of course. But when she opened her eyes and looked straight at me when I closed and locked my door, I fell in love...No goddamn joke. Love at first sight. She was the most beautiful High Elf I have ever seen, but she didn't look like a High Elf. She looks as if a mix of Nord and High Elf, but she was...a knock out you would say.

It took her awhile to gain my full trust, and I could understand why. Being captured by bandits at 15 or 16, possibly have been raped, and being tied up on a bed waiting for someone to take _possession_ of her. I did gain her trust, and I learned of her story, and she learned of mine. We both felt sympathetic for each other, which explains why we fell for each other. Oh! I remember the night of the full moon after I _joined _was my first kiss with my first love. Nothing really romantic about it, but I realized that night we had to escape.

It took weeks of planning but it was inevitable...there demise I mean. And one night, I slight every single one of their throats and escaped with my love. Oh! Hahaha! I completely forgot to tell you her name. Her name...is Abra.


	6. Chapter 5

**I Honestly Don't Like Going On An Adventure But So It Happened**

Abra and I had a few differences, or well differences that true loves can have between them, and one of them was her love for adventure and my hatred for it...Yes, I hate going on adventures. I'm a mage for Talos' sake! What mage would be going on adventures into dungeons and ruins...I actually take that back because it's what I do for a living. But as I was saying Abra always loved dragging me into these dungeons because I could never say 'No' to her face. And there was this one dungeon...Ah I can't seem to remember the name of it, but I always remember this one in particular because well I was almost killed for the second time in my life.

There are a lot of those times in my life, almost getting killed I mean. Like this one time I met a Witch and she lit my ass on fi- I'll finish that thought later. As I was saying Abra brought me into this dungeon and it was normally eerie and creepy as all of them are. This one though, it had a different feel to it. Something Abra couldn't sense, not only because she wasn't a mage but also because she was a little naive. We were doing our normal little patrol and scout out before we advanced further into the dungeon, and night fell over so I encouraged Abra to sleep first. Worst mistake ever. I was sitting in some rag tag chair we made and I was keeping guard. I was tired so, I began to doze off. If you guessed that already by the way I was leading up to it, fuck you. Anyway, as I began to doze off I heard this strange moan. I thought it was my darling, so I doze off more and ended up falling asleep.

A few minutes had gone by before I was awoken by the shrieks of Abra screaming "Wake up you lazy jack ass!" while being hauled off deeper into the dungeon by some _zombie _looking thing. Many things were going through my mind, the most popular being "The fuck were thinking asshole!" and I ran off after her. I grabbed her Bow and Arrow and shot the _zombie _in the back of the kneecap. Our zombie friend dropped my beloved and she ran over to me.

"Thank you, love. Also, fuck you." were the words that came out of her mouth. Bahaha I had never heard her curse before this day, but I've only been traveling with her for just shy of two months. A little too early for love? Not for us, so fuck you. This _zombie _like thing then got up and growled. It was trying to scare us, but it obviously didn't and so Abra took her bow and grabbed and arrow from my hand and shot the thing damn near in between it's glowing blue eyes. She walked over to inspect this creature, and probably reclaim her arrows. Gross isn't it? I then ran to my bag and grabbed one of my few books. This one was about dungeon exploration! Shut up I'm simple minded. I looked through it and found a picture of the creature...a _draugr_. An undead guardian of the dragons. _Undead_.

"Well shit." That's exactly what went through my mind. I look up and tell Abra about it. She seemed fascinated about the subject and when I told her they were guarding the dungeon her eyes lit up. Not the kind of lit up when she's sees her love, no. Understand that her eyes lit up with fire and adventure. She grabbed my arm and literally dragged me farther into the dungeon. I'm a mage, I'm not the most...muscularly built. But she damn near pulled my arm out of my socket. The deeper and deeper we got into this dungeon the more eerie it got. I hated it, and she loved it. Go figure. My robes got snagged on a little crack in the floor and she ripped off the sleeve of my robe and stopped just short of a cliff face. I lay there stuck on the floor and she's standing there, completely still as a statue. I nonchalantly stood up and walked over to her, put my arm around her, and said "What's the matter sweetche-" And we both stood there in awe of what we were seeing happen.

This giant wall with inscriptions was singing, well not singing more like chanting. There were some slain draugr lying dead as a person, living I presume was walking towards the wall and this...well I can't explain what it was. Like these streams of light were coming from the wall and surrounding him. Not even surrounding, piercing him without wounds. Piercing his soul if you would. He was then lifted up in mid-air and a flash of light, not blinding, and a gust of wind as it made his body go into an eagle like position. After that there was an even brighter flash of light that had blinded us both, and when we were able to see again he was on the ground on one knee. He was speaking in a language I had never heard in my life before, I don't even remember what it sounded like but it was a strange tongue as well.

He heard a rock fall from where we were standing, turned around and saw us just standing there in shock. He probably thought of us as bandits, so he then screamed something at us. "Fus Ro Dah" I believe it was and it pushed us into the wall, hard. It had knocked Abra unconscious, I surprisingly remained awake and I picked her up as a fireman would carry someone out. Fireman's carry! That's what that stupid maneuver was called! But anyway, I had _tried _ to run back to where our stuff was but there was an undead undead draugr in our way. Yes, I said undead twice. It's because the one we killed earlier had come back to life after that person had been pierced by the light coming from that wall.

This stupid thing then swung toward me and I ducked in time as his blade caught the wall and I continued to run. I got us back to our makeshift camp, I put Abra down on her mat, grabbed her sword and run towards the draugr again. Bastard then pulled his sword from the rock, his hand along with the butt end of his sword then smashed me in the forehead, and I fell. On my ass. Hard. I reopened my eyes to see this zombie-like creature with glowing blue eyes standing above me. It seemed dazed or intrigued by my existence, I hoped it would be intelligent and let me live. Hahaha yeah right. There's more of a chance at me telling you my name than that shit head not killing me. So it raised it's sword, I closed my eyes because I'm a coward and couldn't look death straight in the face and I'm just lying there...waiting for it to happen. So I think to myself am I in Sovngarde? Is this what being dead feels like? Nope. I opened my eyes to see Abra...She winks and blows a kiss at me. I'm obviously cursing and swearing to her in my head and picturing myself- actually that's a lie. I would never picture myself strangling my love.

We pack everything up and spring out of that fucking dungeon like nobody's business. We finally reach the surface, and the entrance of the damn place, and wouldn't you know it. It's fucking raining. Great, another night close to that stupid place. A sleepless night for me and a wonderful night for the she-devil. False statement, fuck me for making that mistake and not being able to take it away. I didn't mean to call her a she-devil, she would honestly take that as a compliment. What I meant to call her was a witch, but that makes no sense either as she can't use or has no knowledge of how to use magicka in any way, shape or form. So what would work best is a bitch. Yep, oh Talos I hope she doesn't read this...

Back to my tremendous story telling and ruining skills, we spent the night NEAR the entrance. Not next to it, in it or anywhere relatively close to where a draugr or that _freak_ could find us, let alone hurt us. I looked out past the trees and into the plains and mountains of Skyrim during the rainfall, and I realized how beautiful it was. I then saw a Sabre Tooth Cat roam across the open plains and remembered how fucking dangerous this fucking place was. Talos help me in my _adventures _with this witch. And with my shitty luck she woke up as I said that, put her arms around my neck and softly choked me. Yes, it is possible. Don't test me. She then let go, did a cute little chuckle in my ear and said "Oh, you're so nice to me. Thank you for the compliment, sweetie." She then kissed my cheek and we watched the most dangerous place in all of Tamriel that I know of move on in time while we waited for the rain to stop.

A few hours had passed before the torrential rainstorm subsided and we left to where ever our travels took us. I hoped no more dungeon crawling happened after that day and a half. Mother of Talos was I wrong.


	7. Chapter 6

**Let's Play A Game Of Chess For Your Life**

It wasn't really chess, but more of a game. Not the point, actually that was the point. Well shit. I hope you don't mind me skipping about four years ahead in time. For two good reasons, one: This story is actually one I want to tell. Two: It's important to the _theme _of the novel/memoir that I write it.

If you haven't realized by now the stupid _theme _of this novel or memoir, what ever the fuck this is, is a "_Coming of Age Tale._". Absolute bull shit, but I have to have a theme because then it wouldn't be "grammatically correct," actually that was just me being stupid. Terribly sorry, no I'm not. It wouldn't be right according to the universal laws of writing fiction, non-fiction and other bull shit.

I'm also sorry about going from thought to thought without really any notice, I honestly just want to get this part done and over with so I can sleep and freeze my ass off at the same time. Well, my ass freezes off no matter what I do because I live in fucking Winterhold. Not important. Getting sidetracked again. Alright, so I was taking a little walk through the mountains by Dawnstar and I happened upon a camp. There was a fire and a few tents and it looked abandoned, _looked_, and I decided to cook up some food. I pulled up a log and took some raw mammoth meat out of the sack I was carrying on my back. Maybe an hour passed by as I ate and relaxed. My sword was in its sheath, but not on my waist or inside my robe, just right out in the open in the snow.

I decided to lie down in one of the tents for a few minutes to recuperate from my travels, and I heard a noise. Like something moving in the bushes, and I just blew it off. Once the noise happened again I listened closely. I heard bandits, but I couldn't understand anything enough to know what they were saying. I grabbed my sword and put it in my robe as fast as I could and I tried my best to muffle the sound of the electricity coming from my hands due to the lightening magic I was about to use to fry their asses. I didn't work because I was ambushed. There was a Redguard at the back of my tent with a club that he used to _almost _bash my skull in.

I awoke, hell I don't even know how long it had been since I was out. They thought me for dead...idiots. But when they realized I was alive they tied me up and threw me in the tent with two guards. One to watch me, so I don't escape. The other to keep him company, hey, even bandits need friends. But this is really where the story gets good. I overheard them saying they were going to go out hunting in a bit for food. I being the ignorant and arrogant moron I was and still am, I said "You're not going to catch anything out here with those metal things." When I finished being an asshole they turned to me.

"Oh yeah? And what the fuck do you think you know about it?" the Redguard that clubbed me had snarled back. I actually had no response to what he said at that moment. It took me a little bit, but before I could say anything his _friend _said something.

"Well from all the food he had in his sack, he's got a better fuckin' idea then you do." He then laughed, I chuckled a little bit before he told me to shut up or he'd kill me. Typical bandit shit. They got into a little bit of a heated argument and their pseudo _chief _came into the tent and told THEM to shut up. A little more arguing, nothing really important or funny. Just swears and curses flying everywhere. But something did catch my ear.

The chief had said, "Oh yeah? Well I can hunt anything better than you, fuck stick. You just try me." So I began to think for a minute. I actually thought before I spoke. surprise, surprise. But I actually like speaking before I think because I like being just as surprised as the person I'm talking to when stuff comes out of my mouth.

"Hey. Hey! Assholes listen up! I'll give you a bet to settle on..." I thought of something smart. But I don't feel like putting down all the dialogue. "You can hunt me...and whoever bags me gets bragging rights. But, BUT, if I'm not killed by sunrise...I get my freedom." They all laughed for a good few minutes before the Chief realized it was a good idea.

"Hold on, morons. Hey! Shut the fuck up! He's actually got a good idea here." An evil grin then started to stretch from the ends of his face, and he laughed manically. They had all left the tent to decide whether or not to do it, and they left me to my thoughts. I'm thinking and thinking and thinking...I got bored and wished I was invisible. And then it hit me! I'm a mage for fucks sake I can turn myself invisible for a short amount of time. Haha! But there was just a small problem, I was never good at using the invisibility spell. I guess this was as good as a time as ever to see if it worked...I hope to Talos it works.

Hours later the sun had fallen over the mountain peak and darkness had fallen over the lands, we set out to where the "hunt" would begin. They were all armed with mediocre bows and iron arrows, pfft. Child's toys. They pushed me and untied me.

"Ya got ten minutes to run before we kill you. So start movin' asshole." I ran. I've only ran faster one time in my life, and that was in that dungeon from before. Actually, scratch that, I ran faster when I pissed Abra off about something as measly as not locking the safe...when we were both home...Not important. So I managed to find a hidden path and noticed they weren't looking. So, I decided to wait there for another few minutes before their little game started. He sounded the horn he had with him and yelled "Hunt!" and his idiot companions were dazed by the fact he did it and he smacked them both and they went. They searched the entire valley in between the mountains and they left. I left out one important detail, I was invisible in that path! They saw the path, checked it inside and out, and did not see a single thing. The invisibility spell actually lasted the amount of time I wanted it to. Actually no! It worked! That's more surprising.

Being the smart ass I am, once out of sight I went back to the camp and took a little rest under the stars. I lie there for maybe an hour or two and I heard something.

"Come on ya fuckin' idiot move! I'm hungrier than your old mum." The one being insulted then smacked the other. How do I know? I heard a smacking noise. I then cast my invisibility spell once more and moved behind the tree near there fire. They stood there talking, waiting for the _chief _to get back. Once he did, he had this odd look on his face, like one of those looks your parents give you when you do something they never expected of you.

"Tha motha fucka got the best of us. Boys we been screwed." They nodded and walked towards their campfire. I emerged from behind the tree trunk with lightening magic ready. There was just a stare down for a few moments and the _chief _finally opened his mouth to say something quite intelligent.

"How?" Haha! That was the most intelligent thing I had heard a bandit say. Ever. So they're just puzzled and trying to figure out how I managed to get the best of them. I give them no time of course, they're fucking bandits. I'd kill a bandit every chance I get.

"Checkmate." Looking at their faces during their eventual fate, and honestly medial speeded death I learned something. I had no idea what it was, but I knew I learned something. They had died and they smelled like recently cooked meat, I just stood there looking at their bodies. Compassion had fell over me, along with guilt. I had matured before that, but not to the point I did there. I hated it. Feeling compassion, for a bunch of fried bandits? Fuck that. I got out of there as fast as I could, and never returned. That's a lie. I forgot my stuff, so I obviously went back. THEN I never returned.

If you didn't get the reference to the title and to what I said before I killed those rotten bandits, I'm sorry and it's not my fault you're a fucking dimwit.


	8. Chapter 7

**Cleverly Written Title Name Goes Here**

****That's obviously not the most clever thing I've ever written, but I honestly had no decent title for this. CATCHING UP IN PRESENT TIME BITCH! The remix featuring Abra. That was the stupidest thing I've ever said. Wrong, didn't say it. Wrote it, but my thoughts said so I did say it? I'm confusing myself. Anyway, I've decided to let you know more about what's been going on since the last update...well because do you honestly think that I'm going to write this entire book in just one day? With no breaks? Or without having a day job? Well if you thought about that and took it into consideration, thank you for being more intelligent than our other readers who never took it into consideration. To them: Fuck you.

Remember that feeling I was getting from those Saarthal ruins? Well if you don't go back to "Catching Up In Present Time" and fucking read it again. We still haven't found the source of it, but I'm not the only feeling the power. The new students feel it as well, the little shits went exploring today and asking to "tag along," no thanks. I'd rather rot in my fucking house. Err...I'm being tremendously mean to them...That's not good. I just never like the new students because they always think they're better than you, and have more skills in magicka than you. Arrogant bastards. But they have potential, it's just that their arrogance gets them killed. It just makes me sick when I see them being brought back to the college in body bags. But after they returned saying they had found nothing I saw something sticking out of one of the students pockets. I never thought to question it till only recently when we've been having these _magical _tremors and it's shifting our magicka around. Weird.

I have also received a letter from my love over in Solitude. Which in turn means Abra lives in Solitude while I freeze here in Winterhold. Why? Well I left Solitude about a year back because I just couldn't take the pressure of being the Queen's mage. I'm not saying I hate the city. I actually quite adore Solitude, but it was just the job I had that made it a nightmare. All I did was pack some important things and left. I had told Abra and the Queen. She wished me well, and told me Abra would always be safe within the walls of Solitude. Now Queenie was some character. She was either a witch, your mother, your best friend, or your worst nightmare. I honestly have no idea how Bolgeir can deal with her. He once told me mead but it wasn't true. Man had never touched a drop of alcohol in his life. Anyway, back to the letter. She said it was lonely without me there, and it was "too quiet" because I wasn't there to blow up the basement every other day. Not my fault experimenting with magicka and alchemy isn't a smart idea. She also has missed me a ton and has asked me when I'll be returning.

I still haven't responded to the letter, well because I have nothing to say. Yeah surprise, surprise. I, of all people, have nothing to say. I just don't know how to respond. I want to, I just can't. No idea why. But I'll worry about it another time other than now.

I also went on a little trek to Dragon Bridge and met this...person. A nice fellow who helped me, but he told me he had met me much before this time. I asked when and how, but all he told me was, "Destiny has a funny way of playing itself out. We'll both find out eventually, or even not at all. But it doesn't hurt to know Destiny is cooking something up for us both. And even everyone in here! Or that just could be the innkeepers horrible cooking. Don't tell her I said that."

Now that man was a charm. I never know what happened to him, before I left town I asked if he would be staying but the innkeeper told me he had never heard of him or even saw him. Strange. But as of recent I did remember when I met a strange fellow in a tavern. This was years back, after Abra and I had become loves we went to Markarth and stayed awhile. I left to explore a little bit and happened on Rorikstead. Which is where this next story begins.


End file.
